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hi peeps, long time no post. it's kinda easy to post in livejournal because it gets automatically forwarded to multiply so i post there most of the time. i still want to keep this site alive though, because this is where my blog life started. so every now and then i'll still post random thoughts, updates on my life, etc., but for more news you can read my livejournal or multiply site.

i read joshua harris' book i kissed dating goodbye and learned a lot about dating, or should i say not dating. i also bought his next book about how his relationship with his wife started entitled boy meets girl. it discusses how to include God in your relationship with someone, something that most people tend to forget, thus setting themselves sometimes for the fall. i came across a post by a dj in my favorite radio station about dating tips that are similar to what i read from harris' books. i hope these tips can help everyone who gets to read them.
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Wanting to be with someone is a natural and good thing. Don't think of yourself as desperate or stupid for wanting to share your life with a boyfriend or a girlfriend or even a husband or a wife. But things get murky when that desire overrides the reason why we would want someone in our lives to begin with. The desire shouldn't be the reason. The reason should be because you want to enter into a state of matrimony at some point.

Dating is right only when it's done in the context of marriage. Meaning, if you intend to marry the person you're going to date or are dating, then dating per se isn't wrong. It's only when dating is used as a justification or label to have fun with Mister or Miss Right Now or Until Things aren't Fun Anymore does it become dangerous. Dating without the right intent and knowledge and commitment to the purpose becomes a fertile ground for sin.. as some of you may know already. Sex isn't bad either. It's a wonderful thing our bodies were designed for. But sex is God's gift bestowed only in marriage. Will it really fulfill you or make you happy to have multiple partners? I think some of you know already that in the end, having sex with many people only hurts yourselves in the long run. Sex is beautiful and fulfilling when done within marriage. And don't you want to save that gift for The One that the Lord intended for you?

A lot of people forget to ask this question of themselves: is it in God's will for me to be in a relationship? People don't ask this question and find themselves in compromising situations and unhappy relationships with broken hearts. If you are truly committed to doing God's will, you should ask yourself if it's in His plan for you to be single now for the moment. To enjoy this season of aloneness and improve yourself for Him, yourself and your future spouse? To maximize this time to do things only a single person can do before marriage sets in? Or is it time for you to share your life with someone because the Lord has made you ready?

Once you've felt that the Lord has given you the go signal, there are a few warning signs and guidelines on the highway to love:
Only Lovers Allowed
Only those committed to eventually falling in love with their future spouse should consider dating. If you're not ready and you know it, don't. Be alone for a while and find out what else God wants for you to do. Only those who want to be married should date.
Indicate Clearly
Say what you mean and mean what you say. I think a lot of both men and women are afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Some enjoy the attention lavished upon them and even if they have no intention of reciprocating, they encourage the attention because it feels good. Whatever the case may be, if someone states his honorable intentions towards you, don't lead that guy on. For the men, don't pursue women you don't have serious intentions with to begin with.
Get Insurance
It's good to get advice and feedback from people you respect: whether it's your Church elders/pastors/priests, your parents, your small group leader, your friends. They have gone through life longer than you and know a little bit more than you do, basically. And they can see clearer than you can. Consult with them regularly. God might also be speaking through them, so it'd be nice to seek counself with them to see if you're on the right path.
No Shortcuts Permitted
Absolutely no detours allowed. It's God's way or the wrong way. I hate to sound so strict and severe about it but the highway to love is riddled with casualties caused by people who thought they knew better and insisted on doing what they wanted instead of what was right. Do you really want another heartbreak? Do you really want to waste your time with one more wrong person instead of using your time to find the right one?
No Towing
Don't compromise yourself. Don't allow yourself to be dragged down by people who have less noble intentions than you do. Don't allow yourself to be strayed by people who might have flowery words, blinding beauty but less than honorable hearts. It's best to ask the Lord for discernment and direction as to whether you should even consider keeping up friendships that steer you further from your goal.
Stay in Your Lane
There are countless people travelling the same road you're in. Better to enjoy these friendships than those that take you to the faster, more exciting lane. Your chances of ending up in an accident are less.
Observe Speed Limits
Remember that it takes time to know a person. What's the use of speeding things up and realizing in the end, when your heart's been broken, that you didn't really know the person pala? But, at the same time, don't be torpe naman. Men should do the pursuing and the women should wait for the men. Ladies, don't make the first move (no matter how many Sex and the City epoisodes you may have seen). It's through friendship and trials that you will see what a person's really made of. Enjoy the friendships! Good things happen to those who wait.
Pull Over When in Trouble
When you feel that you shouldn't be on the highway to love yet, don't hesitate to pull over. If you still haven't let go of past hurts, past heartbreaks, past issues. If these are still derailing you from enjoying your best life as a single person, the chances you will be happy as part of a couple will be very, very slim. Seek help and counselling if you're having a hard time letting go of these issues. You need complete and total healing before you get back on the highway again.

I want to end with this passage from Matthew 6:33:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

actually, it should probably be random thought #1,450,367 or some other big number, what with all the possible tangents my mind can take... anyway, hey, it's been awhile. more than 2 months, in fact. i've been pretty busy, and well, since my Multiply account is interfaced to my LiveJournal blog, it has been easier to post there. there's also the issue that i don't know if anyone is reading this blog anymore, hehe. on one hand, i guess that means i can post more sensitive topics here than in the other blog... or not. i'm still a little wary of posting just about anything that comes to mind. i wonder who reads this blog? hmm....

i was channel surfing on one of my rest days when i chanced upon an entertainment show interviewing a woman in the US who apparently created or discovered what she calls "garbage couture". she said she's been scouring the garbage of the streets in New York, California and her hometown for clothes that were thrown out by their owners. she was even wearing these clothes during her interview, including her stockings (although she clarified that they were still in their package when it was thrown out). she brought with her some of the clothes that she picked up, like an Anne Klein suit, a light blue jacket (i forgot the brand, but it was also well known) and a little black dress (also of another brand). they did look good, as if she bought it brand new in some store. what made me think about this interview were because of two facts. one is that, for goodness sake, she's picking garbage in some of the most elite neighborhoods, so you are bound to see rich people throwing away things that poor people would consider as a treasure. it makes me sad to think that these people would rather throw these things away than donate it to some charity who would definitely appreciate these items. i've been doing "spring cleaning" in our house for months now whenever i have the time, and i keep finding things that i've sorted into three categories: one for giving to our relatives who might have use for them (like books for my cousins, etc), two for donating to any of my orgs for their activities, and three for direct donation to victims of a storm or fire or whatever tragedy. i've been using this principle when it comes to divesting our house of stuff: if we haven't used it in more than one year, chances are we never will so better give it away to someone who would find it more useful. second thing i thought of when i watched this was that the idea of garbage couture isn't something new. it's been around here in the Philippines for quite awhile. heck, Filipinos even do this when they're out of the country and not just on clothes. i remember one story of a friend's mother who works in UK. she once saw a laptop thrown in the garbage, but she was too embarrassed to look and see if it works. nalingat lang sya sandali and the laptop was gone, most probably taken by another bystander. so really, there's nothing new about this idea. it's just that it's been given a spotlight in this interview that i watched because apparently all of the woman's clothes came from the garbage. anyway, i just wish that most people would also think of donating their "worthless" stuff to charity, because who knows what worth it may have to others.

came across this thought somewhere (don't ask me where) exactly when the rain was really falling:

it's times like these that i miss you the most, my love, when the heavens open up. how i wish i was in the shelter of your arms right now, watching the land be soaked with tears, making our own kind of warmth while everything else has gone cold.

i figured it was time i changed the tone of my recent posts, hehe. although, on one hand, it could still be construed as a sad thought because of the missing and the tears part, but, as i have learned in life, you'll never know happiness if you've never been sad, you'll never know that you're in the light if you've never been in the dark. so what was good about this thought? that you found love, even if it's gone or maybe just not there. because, really, what else is there in life but love?

(side note: bagay yung pinapakinggan kong kanta ngayon haha :D)