October 18th, 2006
intellectual masturbation
someone once told me that i write too way too much that most of the trash in my bin is composed of papers with scribblings on it. i do admit that i am guilty of it.
but that someone further commented, "sulat ka ng sulat ayaw mo namang ipabasa. (you keep on writing but you won't allow us to read them.)"
i replied in a bit irritated tone, "eh masaya nga akong nagsusulat eh. pakialam mo. sa masaya na ako na ako lang ang nagbabasa. (writing makes me happy. why do you give a damn. i am happy enough that i alone read them.)
she further argued: "in that case, para kang nag-mamasturbate. ikaw lang ang nakakaalam, ikaw lang nag-eenjoy. (in that case, it is as if you are masturbating. you are the only one enjoying from it.)
with those words, i was speechless. i never thought that someone would be that bold to tell me that in front of my very face.
that is the reason why i decided to use the term "INTELLECTUAL MASTURBATION" because i am happy and contented whenever i complete a composition. its way more than orgasmic---say euphoric. well, if dont get to finish my composition, i tend to get irrate or lazy or whatever. just like masturbation i do it alone. i write when i am alone. i think a lot when i am alone. and i pleasure myself with lots of ideas here and there then put them in writing. most of my compositions were written when i was alone in my own little world inside my head. i get to use my head or my brains rather.
it is a pretty good exercise for my head (up here not down there) and my hands... it give me pleasure... just like masturbation...
WELCOME TO MY INTELLECTUAL MASTURBATIONS!!!!
