... And So We Met Again Dyosa's Power Strikes at 12:09 AM I haven't seen him for four long years and any means of communication between us was cut two years ago... We were good friends. We talked about anything under the sun. We laughed even at the smallest unfunny things. We would have videoke sessions every time we were together. He would sing my favorite song and I would listen to him intently. I would describe him to my friends as ruggedly handsome. He was my crush when I first met him, but friendship somehow neutralized the attraction I had for him. Sure, he gave me "kilig" moments from time to time. He made me feel special in a lot of ways. When he came along however, I was in love with somebody else. That somebody else was my Second Great Love but he was my "what if" and "what could have been". For me, he was The One Who Got Away and I had always wondered if there was (is) something more for us than friendship...
Last January, I wrote him a letter and he wrote me back a couple of weeks after. He wanted to meet up. I told him, I just had to clear up my schedule and would just show up one day once I got free time. He had no choice but to agree... Hehehe.
I had a perfect vision of our first meeting in years... He'd be really surprised to see me and we'd run and throw one another a tight embrace. We would tell each other how we've missed us and we'd talk endlessly about everything that happened when we were busy minding our own lives. We would have another videoke session and we would eat together with friends. I would have "kilig" moments again while he's sitting beside me. We would have a great time and would plan out when would we meet again... and again... and again... I repeatedly played it in my head for more than a month...
That first meeting in years finally came yesterday. It was awkward and all I could say when he was a few inches away from me was, "Uy!" And instead of a hug, I could only greet him with a high five. Imagine that! Hahaha. He asked if I was married and I told him I wasn't. During the first couple of hours, we would talk like we always did before for minutes and silence would abruptly fill the air for just as much time we spent talking, sometimes even longer. Ggggggrrrrrr!!! I swear, I hated the silence part because it made me more nervous than I already was. He would stare at nothingness and would smile like he knew what I was thinking (or feeling). Awkward, awkward, awkward. Whew! Then he asked me if it was okay for him to smoke. I said no but I told him that it was still his choice and he said, "kinakabahan kasi ako eh." Bwahaha. I almost fell from my seat, laughing. When he asked why, I just smiled. Hehehe. At the back of my mind, I was still laughing. I was kinda relieved knowing that I wasn't the only one feeling uneasy. Hahaha. It got better and more comfortable after that. I guess, we found our way back to our comfort zone. Once again, I felt at home around him. I thought that our friendship died somehow when we started to grow apart but it didn't. He told me a lot of things, things that I thought he couldn't open up to me anymore. He said he just broke up with his girlfriend and that he has a 4-month old baby girl with another woman. He said that he and his mom are not in good terms nowadays because he chose his ex-girlfriend over the mother of his kid. The first words I could say were Friendster's TM relationship status: It's Complicated. Hihihi. I told him to make peace with his mom because at the end of the day, family will always be family. I told him to go back to school and finish college. I gave him advices like I used to and he was attentive like he used to. We ate lunch together, we sang our hearts out during our undying videoke session, and he asked me to visit again. I told him we will see each other again, but I just couldn't promise when exactly because of my erratic schedule at work. He joked; maybe I'd meet him again after four years. Hahaha. I told him to keep in touch and that if he needs someone to talk to, he knows where to call or write me. He thanked me and I kissed him goodbye...
I was happy, really happy to see him. You know, he took me back to this nice safe place where crushes never end and hearts can't be broken (thanks to Dawson's Creek for this line, by the way... hehehe). But is there really something for us more than a platonic relationship? I don't know, I can't say anything for sure right now. What I know is that I don't have "what ifs" and "what could have beens" anymore, and he's no longer my The One Who Got Away… Reading: Curriculum Development Listening to: Say It Again by Marie Digby Watching: Myx Currently Feeling: relieved Kiss Me...
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Adik Sa'yo Dyosa's Power Strikes at 02:50 PM
This is my current addiction... and I'm loving him more everyday. Hahaha. Congratulations to My Baby, he is this year's American Idol... and he soooooo definitely deserved it. Amen!!! Reading: All on David Cook Listening to: Dream Big, The World I Know, and Time of My Life - David Cook Watching: American Idol Season 7, Final Results Show Currently Feeling: inspired and giggling |
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Cheering for My Cook Dyosa's Power Strikes at 01:32 PM It's only two more days before American Idol Season 7 Finale but to me, it seems forever. Can't wait. Hehehe. I acknowledge David Archuleta's talent and large fan-base, but I can really really feel (very strongly - keber sa pagka-redundant, hahaha) that my David Cook will be the American Idol for 2008. Yahooo!!! As Trinity would say to Neo, "You are The One... You are The One because I love you." Bwahahahahahaha...
Reading: On Atkins, South Beach, and Redjuice Listening to: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing-David Cook;Hit Me Up-Syesha Mercado Watching: American Idol Season 7 Marathon Currently Feeling: lighter,healthier,happier |
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I Dreamt of You Last Night... Dyosa's Power Strikes at 01:12 AM The black phone rang, twice. I somehow knew that it was you, but mother answered it first. You told her you were there and that you needed me to pick you up somewhere. You have finally fulfilled your promise. You have come for me, after so many years. Mom volunteered to go with me. She held my hand; maybe she knew I needed someone to hold onto. We reached where you were. There were a lot of people and I searched through them... I searched for you. And then I found you. All the while, you were looking intently at me, like there was no one else in the room. You were wearing red polo shirt, black leather jacket and jeans - kneeling on your right knee. Mother let my hand go and I reached out for you. You grabbed my right hand with your left and stood on your feet. I introduced you to her. The two of you were a picture of harmony. She told us to go ahead. We walked back to the house, holding each other’s hands. Everything seemed perfect. Then my mind started to wander, wondering what everything meant. I wanted to ask you. I tried to... I was about to when suddenly you raised my hand, and held it more tightly - like you never wanted to let it go, like you never wanted to let me go. I lost for words. Fear kicked in. But your presence calmed me. We were standing outside our bungalow. You led me to the side and we sat on the street, quietly watched the kids playing. We were really happy, so happy that I felt forever. Then you looked at me straight in the eyes and as certain as you never were before, you wanted to discuss our future - together! I grasped for air, I wanted to let you know so badly that I wanted the same thing. But in no time, all the images just faded away... Reading: emails Listening to: Rule # 1: Wag Mong Aaminin by Overtone Watching: The Closer Season 3, Superman Returns Currently Feeling: not being sooo LOGICAL |
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To Make Each Day Count Dyosa's Power Strikes at 02:12 PM I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count. - Jack Dawson/Titanic (1997) Reading: Writing a Lesson Plan Guide Listening to: American Idol Finalists' Audition Pieces Watching: American Idol Season 7, The Brave One Currently Feeling: strangely not sleepy |
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I Saw the Sign... Dyosa's Power Strikes at 08:46 AM Late last year, I started contemplating on exploring my options outside my comfort zone. But I knew I wasn't ready so I told myself I will just reconsider the same thought by the last quarter of this year - hoping that by that time, I will be ready... Three weeks ago, a friend left... and it got me thinking. It got me really thinking to a point that I had to stay locked in my room for a couple of days during my off. It got me really thinking that I felt melancholic, uncontented, and restless. Last Sunday, I finally got the sign I've been asking Tsong for quite sometime now. To do or not to do? Tsong said, TO DO! Hehehe. Wish me luck... Reading: www.opinionnyomahalaga.blogspot.com Listening to: Far Away by Nickelback; Relationships with Marco and Dee Watching: The Closer S3, Dawson's Creek S2, PBA Semis, Coffee Prince |
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