November 15, 2008

[11/14/08]

Kahapon, nagplano kame ni miQo na mag-mall, at dahil ipapakilala nya si Jake, that would be the best time. Nagtext na kame sa iba. Went to royal to met up with miQo na hindi kame halos magkakitaan, haha! then off to trinoma... nag ice-cream at bumuli ng bagong head-set at nakita si Sen Bugoy at Laarni. hehe!Then, dumating na si JAke, checked the timeslot for our MAdagascar movie session, 3:15pm- 30 minutes left pa at dumating na din si niQa, mirienda at Fuzion and planned to wait for Fola.. binilhan ko sila ng bart Simpson na stufftoy then received a text message from fola na mejo nagka-problem sa office kaya  malelate pa ang dating nya. Comedy si miQo, takbo agad sa bilihan ng tickt para kaemng amazing race na ang bagal pa nung pag-balot nugn natira naming tacos at quesadillas, haha! tas takbo na sa cinema 4, at naabutan ang movie just a nick of time. Comedy and movie, emdyo an antok na ako hindi dahil boring kundi dahil wala pa ako tulog masyado. hehe! Ok naman...then punta na ng Sbucks West Ave. Naghintay sa iba, si carlo nag text na din,  pero for me hindi pa din ok. Ok na din na darating sya kase naisip ko na baka makapagusap pa kame. Ayun, pag dating nya, ilanga minutes pa, si Bon nad Kennette (waaaaaaaahh so haaaaapppppppyyyyyyyyy) then dinner at Rai Rai Ken, si Fola and Bob dumating nadin. At hulaan nyo kung sino ang huling dumating? haha si Joseph. The best talaga si Fola, hay par.. as long as hindi mo hahayaang masaktan ang puso mo, go ako jan. Then, Im surprised that I was happy that day (yesterday). Sobrang SAYA dahil kasama ko ang mga taong gusto makasama pero naramdaman ko na ginagawa ko lang masaya dahil gusto ko kahit hindi. Andyan si Carlo pero naghalo ang sakit lungkot at galit dahil ayoko na ako nanaman ang mageffort. Inoobserbahan ko sya, naiinis sya at nalulungkot pag wala ako sa tabi nya, pag meron akogn mag gestures o mga pagwa-walang-kibo pag nagsasalita sya o pag meron syang ginagawa. Siguro minsan nakakapagod na din talaga sa katawan pero ang puso ko, never mapapagod siguro, atleast not this time. Mahal na mahal ko sya at alam ko na mahal na mahal nya din ako kaya nangyayari sa amin ang mga ganitong bagay, away after three days bati ulit, patigasan, tapos jerjer! haha... taspo bati ulit. Anyway, kinailangan ko ag timpla ng juice since na ubos na ang chaser namin sinundan nya ako, tinulungan, nung babalik na kame sa porch tinawag nya muna ako nagusap muna, naiinis na sya kaya nagusap kame. 10min lang siguro then he hugged me for the longest time, i missed him, sinabi ko din yun nung tinanong nya ako. We kissed and then balik na sa porch. Magaan na din kahit papaano sa dibdib pero syempre our relationship is a journey. Ang tanging pinagdarasal ko lang ngayun (at nung first St Jude expirience ko last Thursday) na bigyan ako at kame pareho ng GUIDANCE sa pagdidisisyon namin sa mga bagay bagay. Na sana sya pa din talaga ang lalaki para sa akin na hindi magbabago ang pagmamahal namin sa isa't-isa, sa mga kaya lang namin ibigay na sana makuntento kame sa mga yun. Sana maging ok na din lahat. Natapos ang inuman session at nakapag pahinga na din. Sana OK na talaga.

November 9, 2008

9:49am

Much like the others, my life has been keeping me pretty busy these days. I'm being mature with work and I'm trying my very best to resolve more issue for the upcoming PMS. WOOOO i'M SCARED...I'm soooo tired right now! Last night was a ME TIME after all. I intended to group message my friends for a TAMBAY in West Ave but decided to spend my wee hours reading Salem's Lot ( yup! matagal na talaga to..kaso ngayun ko lang nabasa..XD! ) Before follow-ups today I will blog away for the sake of..ammm..blogging-away? Well anyway about last night, I got there at exactly 6:00 in the evening and ordered my favorite xmas feature drink and found a familiar seat on the other corner. After 3months or so I finally got started with Salem's Lot  and got interested with the story simply because its from Stephen King, yea! This face (currently pointing my face and moving my finger on a circular motion) really implies on being to excited on finishing some chilling novel form one of my fave author. So two thumbs-up to you my fella! It's been an hour and 150 pages was already turned on to the next and I still can't stop. The predictable scenarios became unpredictable when you got chills on your spine. I got a few of those goosebumps you get when you feel something weird or your too excited about something. Well everyone, read-between-the-lines. Its' too chilling to stay outside nowadays since December na. And for some damn reason I did not came with my jacket on and it did rain, yes! it did and Im so pissed of because... walla! I don't have an umbrella either. Well enough of the whining, I got lots of time to spend anyway. I lit a cigar and thought about how my life is right now, how it turned out after one year. Last Nov 5 was my 365th day in Novare and I realized that it's been a year na pala. Spent time with Carlo last Nov 3 since its our Anniversary and thinking about cutting my hair short..oops sorry! one year na din kase akong hindi nakakapasok sa parlo, haha!

Honestly, I've been pre-occupied lately and Im stressing this to get some more stress and wait for my system to be numb. Naks! mushy. Scratch that people. But yea! I'm definitely stress with life and some people think they can out-smart life but hey! news flash, you can't. Clue-in doooownnnuuttt! It's life we all dealing with and if that supreme being snap his/her finger your life will be changed in a heartbeat. Some people are knowledgeable with things, giving advices for some dumb luck with their experiences.  But can you really put yourself on other shoes? That's a question I leave to all because honestly, I don't really now. You read books, scan on magazines and google on the net but you cannot and I can't stress this enough, you CANNOT put yourself on other's emotional state. And even if you both share the same position on a certain issue, you both, still are different. Even with friends and loved ones. You love them, gave it unconditionally, being to generous, keeping them safe, making them happy but at some point and most of the time it'll come on a different event or life time maybe, you will realize that two different person is too different after all. Like having a relationship with someone opposites you in so many ways, you tend to get hurt or vice versa but still the world will shout out COMPROMISE PEOPLE! COMPROMISE! coz in some way, we are all connected and we are each others back. Why would anyone hurt you?  some asked.. my answer was.."Honestly! I was awesome, right?" Well I gave it my best shot. hehe. And because I'm a daughter of HIS, I've learned to forgive because its a weak hurt you'll be having when your not forgiving, oha! magka-rhym pa...In my 23 years of breathing I've learned the LOVE is LOVE, and who ever made this 4 letter word would be the first to be in love, maybe with someone, with nature, maybe with... life.

Even with friends, some people are way to friendly but got so many unfriendly friends.XD! It ain't gonna work fa' mey' fagget' you hear me? It ain't gonna happen because I'm very lucky with my friends. And that you can envy. I know for a fact that people come and go and most of them leave some mark like a note pinned on your heart saying something you would never forget for the rest of your life and that note usually are the emotion(s), a natural instinctive states of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood etc. And if your lucky enough that person who had pinned something will also be staying with you to pin more emotions, feelings, experiences, life on your heart. We are all lucky because wishes comes for free and if GOD is a programmer and you've been a good kid, you will be assured that it will be granted with HIS "Your wish is my Shift-command" response.

Lately I've been thinking, maybe I've been bitter for the longest time. I've been bitter with life so I put on my make-up, put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me, everything is ok? I laugh it coz no one, knows that joke is on me, and I'm dying inside with my pride and the smile on my face... on my face,,,singing la la la! aha! sorry this song got stuck on my head. Anyway, so you know, I'm an only child and being one you tend to have all the things you want and then forget the most important thing, more important things than having a bike on your 9th birthday or going to some store and buy a dozen shirt and a pair of shoes every week but to experience life for all its worth. And if someone hurt you, you cannot say that it isn't a favor it's not like you both are exchanging friendship bracelet but give them the forgiveness they deserve from whatever they did that made you mad or lonely. Maybe I will be healed with all the hurts I'm in, time will come that all this will be gone and then.... I'll stop braiding, HAHAHAHA! joke... All I'm trying to say is that I never stop believing, and I would never in a million years stop promoting LOVE NOT WAR! haha.. because its the only thing I'm holding on right now and prayers really help too and of course hope and perseverance comes in handy.

I feel better now. Really. Now that I've got this out from my system. Maybe because of blogging. Or maybe because.. because...I know someone love me for who I really am. Someone who is willing to let their guards down for me, forgives all my short comings and constantly trying to prove himself on what he is capable of. Of loving and being loved. You know who you are and I love you. Thank you for loving me in return.

Just as GOD made me.

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Here’s a few tidbits to get me excited this coming Christmas:

1. Planning to have dinner with Carlo this xmas.
2. c/o Carlo, planning our BucksBudds XMAS Celebration, charity daw guys!
3. Please let me be the first to say that it’s 100% possible that I'll be staying in Aquarium at New Year's day since Im on my mid shift and I will be staying in the office until 11 friggin' pm, I decided to spend it with two of my best budds, Kennett! Cara! ihanda na ang inuman..buwahaha!

Nov 6, 2008

Nagkayayaan na mag Bucks West kaso parang mas balak pa nila mag Antipolo, kaya di na ako sumama dahil maaga pa ako kinabukasan. Nakakaasar pa kase hindi man lang ako naa-update. Petty siguro kaso parang ramdam na ramdam ko na mas mahalaga ang mga kaibigan nya sa akin. Yun lang.

Bago umuwi, tumayo sa ilalim ng MRT at nagyosi. Nagaway ang puso at utak. Nanalo ang utak kaya umuwing luhaan ang puso.