When my parents told me to study Culinary Arts in Cebu City, I said yes.  They were to pay for my full tuition and school expenses.  To ease the guilt I said they wouldn't need to give me allowance.  I'd work for it myself.  And so everyone had high hopes for this new thing.  I was to go to Cebu to pay for the reservation fee.  I am at the verge of ending my second day here, and the God of surprises is still having so much fun with me.  I say "Bring it on!".  So confident in words, when in reality I am crushed.  To tears.

No. 1: Beggars Can't Be Choosy. 

The first step was to look for the school building.  We were told it was right across ______ High School.  When we looked, there were no "buildings".  There were old houses and karinderias.  We asked around and were finally directed to a house with a gate.  My dad and I looked at each other.  Oh I knew what he was thinking.  His face said it all. 

The school was this old house, with extensions at the back.  I was able to look inside the pastry kitchen, and I felt relieved.  As the saying goes, don't judge the book by its cover.  Besides, my dad and I heard testimonials from family friends.  The place was run by an excellent faculty, the curriculum sounded good, the students got to have internships abroad, etc. etc.  I'm an optimist, by the way.

No. 2: I am Black Sheep.

Now that I was to live here in Cebue, we had to look for a place to stay.  My sister was living in a rotting house which she described to me was termite-infested.  I had not yet seen the place.  An option was to move in with her, if the place was okay with me. 

When I went to inspect the place, I was speechless.  My sister's roommate Lai said the place had an ideal price in an ideal location, but it was deteriorating.  Who knew the structure would cave in someday too?  I couldn't tell.  By termite-infested, they meant termite-infested.  The kitchen cabinets had decomposed to earth matter.  My father was willing to pay for the fixes but I estimated 30-50k, which I thought was not worth it for something we didn't own.  I suggested that if we found a newer place for the same rent, within the same area, then it would be perfect.  But my sister snapped that I was not even here all this time to look for a new place, and apparently I wouldn't be here to manage the repaires if the plan was to take effect.  So she said I had no right to complain.  I said it was beyond my control because mom wouldn't allow me to stay here until I got a job, and they were paying for my survival.  I was still thinking about the school, then I was bombarded with depressing stuff like this, I could not help but burst to tears.  Hello, Real Life.

No. 3: When The Cat Is Away, The Mouse Will Play.

Upon hearing our "sisterly" conversation, my dad had decided to move my flight to a later date to buy time to look for that perfect apartment.  But my sister had work, and my dad had to play golf, and I didn't know Cebu city enough to be looking for the place myself.  I also did not have anything packed, as the trip was originally one night only.  My dad left me his ATM card.  I thought I was really depressed today, or it's probably PMS.  And there's one tried and tested quick fix to euphoria and back.  Ladies and gentlemen, this shopping express is brought to you by Daddy's gas card, thank you.  I almost gave my father his first heart attack when he found out how much I spent.  (This information has been proven to be a health risk and will not be disclosed.)

No. 4: There's Bo's Coffee Here.

The culinary school could not provide a definite schedule of classes.  Just that some weeks had three class days, some weeks had seven.  Hours were not definite either.  This popped the bubble of maintaining "regular" work while going to school.  I thought my best bet was to really go for home-based work, or freelance.

The people around me suggested the call center.  There were 6-month contracts that I could apply to.  This was fine with me.  But I wanted continuous work so that I didn't have to look again when school started.  It was just hard to look for that particular work, but I was doing fine with my design/graphic work that I'd been doing for a year now.  I was doing fine in Manila. 

Note to self: Baboysai is no longer in Manila.

I swallowed.  My chest tightened.  My body went numb.  It was not that I wasn't up for it suddenly.  But I had a rough two days and I just wanted to pause, and probably complain, then get on with it.  That's how I always got through things.  Bo's.  If it's times like this, Bo's it. 

This place, Cebu, was the origin of Bo's.  But it still didn't feel right.  I could not complain to my parents.  Pressured to earn my own money, find my own place, and prove to everyone that I live it, my heart ached.  I read that note to myself and realized the sad truth.  I had no friends here.  I was alone. 

I remember saying if it's worth it, I'm not a quitter.  I must be a witch.  Because I believe in guts.  Bring it on, I say.  And fuck it all!