Paradise Philippines

One may think that at a young age of almost 22, I'm experiencing the so-called dilemma three years too early. But what can I do, I'm advanced. lol.

Everywhere I look, all I see/hear about are friends, batch mates and /or acquaintances flying off to some faraway country in continuous pursuit of their dreams, or settling in their corporate offices, or else getting married/having children. And suddenly it all seemed like everyone was headed somewhere, and I'm still in this pit of never ending semi-vague ideas of my plans for my future. But in the midst of all the gibberish, often overwhelming ideas on how to make a life for myself, to lay the foundations of my future, I do have a few things that I know for sure:

• Having landed a job that actually keeps me interested and prevents boredom from seeping in helps in ways that young people may not even think about. Ahh, the previously despised adults were right: the day you stop learning is the day you die. But as they say, no matter how fat the paycheck is, it will not be worth it unless you have real passion for your job. Hence, the big switch from call center girl to a budding Internet marketer. And right now I have a few suntok sa buwan goals. So I guess that being able to visualize even the farthest pinpricks of dreams, I can say that I know where this road is taking me.
  
• I believe in marriage. And I believe in God. You would think that having gone through virtually every kind shitty boyfriend trouble that no self-respecting woman would ever take (and yeah I was not as self respecting back then as I am now but hey, cut me some slack, I was only sixteen. lol. ) would make me either swear men off altogether or become some kind of wild nympho. But it didn't. I can't think of any other reason except that I am such a terrible romantic and I believed in TRUE LOVE of all things, in spite of all that. That, and the dream that I would someday wake up next to someone I love and someone who loves me back--and the belief that God does things for a reason--keeps me in my warm, beautiful delusion. And who can tell, that might just come true in a few years or so.

SO. Those so far are the few but sturdy bricks that I managed to lay down the pavement. And knowing that I have something to feel passionate about, and someone who makes me believe in fairy tales like a giddy, courted girl makes me feel certain that somehow, direction has not altogether abandoned my life. For now, that's enough.

PS: He has something really beautiful to say: 

The real deal is having God hand you back the things you’ve lost packaged in an ethereal box labeled BETTER.

The relationship I currently enjoy with Camz has grown beyond a love pact between a pogi boy and a ganda girl. This is no teen show. More of two wanderers who find maps in each other: there in your eyes, the romance of two black moons, your mouth the morning oasis after the eve of drought, your body the land I long to conquer, your limbs the bridges that connect you to me. That upon separation, we both shall get lost, the gravest thing to happen in this world where people live to die just to find themselves a place in history.

We have gotten the approval of each other’s friends and family. We will be married someday. [READ MORE]

I never get tired of reading that.